Who Am I?
A stroke changes so many things so quickly. Survivor Dorcas Sutton explores questions of what it has done to her own identity.
Who am I now that the world has changed?
Who am I now that nothing will ever be the same?
Who am I that no one seems to understand?
Who am I because my life has come undone?
Who am I since the “old me” has gone away?
Who am I since this stranger has come to stay?
Who am I that my days are dark and drear?
Who am I that no one wants to come near?
Who am I that was sick and confined to bed?
Who am I that tubes and wires fed?
Who am I that my life was hanging by a thread?
“She’ll never be the same,” the doctor solemnly said.
Who am I supposed to be since all this transpired?
Someone who can’t think, react, remember?
Is that all I am, all I can aspire?
Who am I that can’t do all I used to do?
Who am I that sits alone and weeps for the person I used to be?
For relationships lost, for family and friends I can’t seem to keep.
Who am I that failure accompanies every event?
Who am I when a life that once enjoyed success is now spent?
Who am I with my medicine and health history?
Who am I, why am I groping for usefulness, a new destiny?
Who am I that my body betrayed me?
That my neuro-anatomy transformed my life?
Who am I that my past was erased, my future tumultuous, With tomorrows I now don’t know how to face?
Who am I that feels lonely, useless, afraid?
Who am I that trembles in terror, in rage?
Who am I that asks so afraid?
I’m me … this person with a life I didn’t choose.
Who am I? A person who sure could use a hand, a listening ear, a comforting word, an accomplishment besides failure.
Someone who understands my loneliness, my pain, The energy it takes to stay on an even plane.
Someone who is not afraid, doesn’t run away Because none of us is ever the same.